Whenever something like Valentine’s Day approaches, there are always things written about what a man should give his better half. You’d think that such knowledge should be instinctive to a man who’s been married to a woman for a long while, but, in many cases, he becomes even more clueless about what it takes to please his spouse.
This is never more apparent than when a wife is going through menopause and her hubby suddenly hasn’t any idea of what to do for this person who swings between being a laid-back, normal individual and a bad-tempered harpy.
If you really want to show us some love, guys, here are some suggestions:
Admit we are right about absolutely everything.
Even if this is not truly the case, the trick is that you say we are.
When that menopausal babe in your life accuses you of purposely committing some trivial “crime”, such as moving her copy of The Ladies’ Home Journal or misplacing the bottle of Fabreze, confess to it, even if you know for a fact that you were never remotely close to these items. Make certain you sound sincerely contrite, so she won’t figure out your game plan.
This way, it denies her the opportunity to engage you in some petty, pointless argument that you know you can never win. She’ll probably be suspicious and a little miffed for not getting the chance to exercise the irritability typical of her “condition”, but you’re safe, as long as she can’t prove you’re faking.
Ignore our physical changes.
Your woman may have starting exhibiting physical changes, due to her “life transition”. It may be apparent that her hair is getting a little thinner, her skin might be a little drier and a few pounds possibly have been added to her tender little frame.
Whatever you do, don’t mention it, not even in joking! Many a male has put himself in harm’s way by “just kidding” and making remarks he thinks are amusing..
Statements like “The last time I caressed skin like that was when I had a pet lizard!” will get you a verbal tongue-lashing you won’t soon forget and/or a night of exile to the sofa.
Even if your significant other begins to bear an uncanny resemblance to The Creature from the Black Lagoon, speak and act as though she is a Victoria’s Secret model, in your eyes.
Things will be much more peaceful and you will still live to see another day.
Fellas, keep lotion and massaging oil close by for crisis situations, such as when your lady goes off the deep end over some insignificant matter or starts crying for no explainable reason. You’d be amazed what some well-prepared pampering will do to diffuse even the worst show of emotional angst.
Surprise her by drawing a hot bath for her, complete with calming lavender-scented bath soak. Make sure everything is nice and clean. (Shavings from your beard-trimming in the sink and your dirty underwear on the floor will definitely put a wrench in setting the proper mood to settle down your sweetie).
After her time of solitude in the tub, she is likely to be feeling extremely receptive to your offer to towel her off and give her a massage. Turn off the sports news and have some soft, soothing music playing in the bedroom as you expertly rub sweet smelling oils or lotions on her.
Yes, we menopausal women are aware that we need to watch our weight closely now, but it’s okay to give us something we like, just as a treat, on occasion. Chocolates still work a charm, especially if you feed them to
us yourself. Nothing will turn a raging lioness into a purring kitten quicker than some well-administered TLC, gentlemen.
Step Away from the Fan
When a woman is having hot flashes, the most loving thing you can do for her is keep quiet when she insists upon turning on the air conditioning. Even if it feels like you’re in the middle of Siberia, button your lip and just make sure you wear thermal undies and a parka to bed, so you won’t freeze to death.
Smile through your chattering teeth and say, “I’m so glad I’m married to a hot blooded minx like you, baby!” Your willingness to put yourself at risk for hypothermia for the sake of your lady love will only endear you to her the more.
Now That You Know…
It takes just the simplest of considerate gestures to make the hormonally-challenged content. You can still bring us flowers, but doing some of the things mentioned here will put you over even bigger.
Why not put them into practice this February 14th and beyond?
Get started soon!